Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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