toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
