we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Randomize
