You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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