Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
