HIV tests are more positive than that guy
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
you made out with another girl for some wings
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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