you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Randomize
