I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
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