dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
