WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
he fucked my hip out of place.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
