either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize