you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
