can we get nightvision for the apartment?
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
