i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
