I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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