we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
