It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
