the new term for farting is butt boxing.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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