no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize
