I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Randomize
