do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
