He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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