this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
