I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
he laminated a picture of his dick.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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