you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
