i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Randomize
