she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Randomize
