evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
