dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Found the puke drawer
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Randomize
