I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Porn is love you can see.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
