Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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