I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
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