Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
