I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
He did a backflip because drugs
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
