So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
What a dumb baby whore.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
