..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
