Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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