I'm lost and stupid without you.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
