Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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