Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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