sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
