Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
