that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Dignity is for republicans.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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