Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
