If i come over, it means nothing
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
