Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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