P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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