I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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