K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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