Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
