If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
she peed on how many people?
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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