Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
