on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
