I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Couch. On fire.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
