Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Randomize
