We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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