We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Randomize
