I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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