I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
