I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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