no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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