The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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